A lot has transpired over the last few days. One thing is certain, is that when we make a decision to stand, take action and create change we get results. It may not be the result that we want. It may in fact be more bypassing, gas-lighting and centering but it’s still results.
So when the chips have fallen and the damage is done, what do we do?
We need to heal. But first I want to go over some facts. We can’t change them. We can’t change their thoughts, their feelings or their lack of understanding. This is not our job. Our job is not to support, coddle or help them understand. We can’t do that. All we can do is bring awareness and continue to highlight these issues. This job belongs to white people. Only they can dismantle and educate their fellow white people on these issues.
It is important that we know when it’s time to take a step back. These situations can not only be exhausting they can also be very triggering and when it becomes this way, we need to walk away. There is no shame in walking away and we aren’t doing a disservice by it, because it’s not our job to educate anyone but ourselves. This is not a space for us to help anyone unpack their privilege, tendencies and mindset on our stances and experience. At the same time we do not need to tolerate people centering themselves based on our experience. Our experience is our experience, it isn’t about anyone else and we don’t need to apologize for it.
Once we have taken a step back and removed ourselves from the situation, call in your support team. This team may be one comprised of your peers, teachers, leaders and even your Divine support. Call on them to help you. Your team is one that is meant to uplift you when you are down. They are also there to love and hold space for you through this time of healing of ourselves. Once you’ve connected with your team take care of you. You are the most important person in this scenario. You and you alone! Connect with and listen to your body and what it needs. It could be anything from a moment to breathe, reflect, write, take a bath, drink a tea, going for a massage, taking a nap or all the above. Don’t discriminate your self-care practice. There is nothing wrong with the practice you choose, as long as it fills you up and restores your energy level. Do what you need to do to ensure your self-care is the number one priority. If you need help with kids, housework, cooking or whatever endless lists of tasks we have each day, once again reach out to your support team.
Then delete, delete, delete! And when I say delete, I don’t mean delete your comments, posts or any other way you chose to speak your truth. I am referring to releasing the energy that is wrapped up in the situation. Release any attachment you are holding towards an outcome or resolution. The energy tied to these conversations isn’t serving you and it can suck you in and leave you in that space for days, even weeks. Do what you can to release the energy magnified in you and keep moving forward.
I hope this has served you and your healing. As a recap please see below points:
Know that our job is only bring awareness to and highlight issues. We can not educate.Know when to step back and remove yourself from the situation. Call in your support team.Practice self-care and if needed call in your support team again.Delete, delete, delete!
Photo by Doug Swinson on Unsplash